Did You Miss Me?

Tuesday, March 21st 2017

  There aren’t many post of late here on Lia’s Bookish Obsession, and the reason for that is very simple, I’ve been sulking. As many of you know my husband Absent Minded Professor Sir Larry, had to leave us for a last minute deployment. Even though he’s proud to be an Airmen, he’s even more proud of being a husband and a father. Which meant his absence has left the house missing a very important part, no one has felt that lost as much as our dear clever changeling Zoe.

Zoe is only two years old, and she’s the most determine to find her father no matter where we go. Just the other day, I took Alcide, our Siberian Husky to the dog park, where she ran her little heart out thinking she saw her father in the distances, when in truth all she was running towards was a black pole that told cyclist they could not pass beyond this point. Have my daughter attempt to find her father everywhere we go is something that touches my heart in a mournful way.

 Zoe loves her dad, if there was any doubt about how much she loves her dad, I think her actions these three months during his deployment truly silences them.

Zoe is also extremely stubborn, and even more so angry with me since I can’t, or rather I won’t bring him back. Usually when Zoe wants to see her Dad, I bring him to her, either by phone call, or going to the military base and exchanging some words of reality to the idiots that call themselves supervisors. I don’t care what type of job you’re employed in, the human mind, body and spirit has limitations, we are humans not machines. As simple as that lesson is, it seems to be something Minot AFB and their supervisors in different squads seem to constantly be reminded about, and I have no problem bring the reality to their narrow minded perspective of the limitations able body men can do. Some people believe that because you’re working for a big organization like the Air Force you can’t say what needs to be said, when it has to be said, but that’s obviously not true. There are times when you really have to stand up for those who are to afraid to say what needs to be said to the pompous idiots that need to hear them. My daughter has seen me many times go toe to toe with someone who believes a few strips on their jacket can match the strength within myself. I’m sure to my daughter, I’m always able to bring her father back home to her. I’m confident in her mind, I can always bring her father back to her, expect of course this time.

There are no words that I say to any supervisor that would make Sir Larry, as our friend Orianna nicknamed him, back to us. There is nothing I can truly do to make the separation between father and daughter easier, even though I’m a veteran of feeling the heartache of that separation myself. When I missed my dad I cried until my voice was gone. I cried until my eyes were practically swollen shut. I woke up crying.I fell asleep crying. I cried so much that my uncle told my mother that I was going to end up in the “crazy house” if I didn’t stop. I didn’t even find peace in the moments I did fall sleep, instead I just continued to whimper or I kept asking to see my daddy even in my sleep. I’m thankful hat Zoe is not as vocal about missing her dad as I was, but she’s just as stubborn.

Since Sir Larry has left for his deployment, Zoe stopped eating. One thing I can tell you about Zoe’s appetite, it’s large. This little two year old will can eat scramble eggs and the egg shells if you’re not careful. That actually how she got her name little changeling. I made the mistake of leaving eggshells on the kitchen counter only to have my toddler nibbling on them! That’s when I remember the old stories of feeding a changeling baby eggshells, that their monstrous appiete won’t even stop them from eating them. You can image the far I had as a mother to see my daughter go from eating like a fairy creature to then all of a sudden, hardly eating at all. I tried everything to get her to eat, but all she wanted was for her dad to cook for her. For her dad to make breakfast for her. For her dad to bring her her snacks while she watched Nickelodeon Bubble Guppies. Or even for her dad just to be there. She would just wait for her dad to come home. When Sir Larry use to work the  double long shifts I would let her stay up so she could see her dad, but you can imagine, there is no way she can sit at the table and wait for her dad to arrive in time for breakfast without having to visit Zoe at a hospital! I even invited friends over to see if they could get Zoe to eat, but she just ate a fraction of what she use to. Out of my mind with worry, confused on what to do, I did what any parent would have done when they see their child is wasting away from sadness, I called in the big guns, the professional, the 100% satisfaction happiness guarantee machine, I called in Gramma.

My mom traveled from her home in The Bahamas to the cold winter wonderland of Minot  North Dakota, to get her youngest granddaughter back on track. These two power houses have had some debates about which lady is in charge, just last night they had a show down in the hall about whose the boss, both of them standing proud with their hands on their hips telling each other that they should go to bed. Call me a coward, but I took both of their advance and put myself to bed where I read a book while listening to Beauty and The Beast Live Action soundtrack! Hey you gotta know when to pick you’re battles, and having my mom and Zoe constantly battling whose the boss in this apartment, is a battle that both  Alcide and I keep hiding from.

The truth is, having my mom here has not only helped me greatly, but also put Zoe back in her normal cheerful mood. However Zoe is still upset with me that I can’t bring her dad back to her. She has told  my mother many times that she trust her, while sticking her tongue out at me. I know Zoe is young, and doesn’t understand all the details of what her father does or why he went away. In her mind she believes that her dad left her, only because there has never been a dad that Sir Larry was wearing normal non uniform clothes that Zoe couldn’t jump in his warm arms and go with him, until this deployment. Zoe holds tight to all of us in the home, constantly having a normal two year old tantrum, only to calm herself begging both my mom and myself to not leave her. It hurts me to know that she thinks that Sir Larry just left her, but I know she’s to young to understand the power of how much her dad really loves her, that if he really hard a chose he would never have  left her, that his reason for leaving were completely out of his hands and due to protecting democracy. That his love for her stretches across any distances the this deployment has over him, but for now she blames me and takes a handful of my reading Hershey kisser stash as revenge!

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