It’s Wednesday, which I have to admit is my favorite day to the week. It’s represent the middle of the week. The moment in which we can say, Hey! It’s Wednesday! I’m almost there! I’m almost done with the week! If I can survive the middle of the week I might actually make it to Friday! Sweet blessed Friday! Friday the day of the week that truly is the Goddess of all the days. Friday represents the sweet nectar of the weekend! Oh let us sing praises to the glory of Friday and it’s younger sister Wednesday!
Now that we have officially enter the month that Hallmark has claimed to be the month of love. It’s time for me to do more than love reading romance novels. I need to seriously learn to love my body. I am 26 years old and unfortunately I am 209 pounds. This really isn’t a huge show to me since before I was pregnant, two years ago I was 190 pounds. It’s safe to say that I honestly wasn’t very health before that either. When I was in high school and majority of my time in my early years of college I had an eating disorder. It’s actually one of the main reason why I did not want to date Larry in our early years of our relationship. It’s really hard to live with a guy and hide yourself forcibly vomiting in the bathroom at the same time.
While everyone in college kept telling me I looked great, Larry was probably the only one who noticed that I was losing weight way to fast. It was even harder to hide his suspicions once we moved in with each other. I think that’s one of the main reason he was, and continues to be extremely kind about me attempting to lose weight after having Zoe. For anyone, the topic of weight lost and weight gain can be a sensitive topic. For me the sensitive topic is me having a eating disorder for 5 years with only one person truly noticing the tell-tell signs of someone truly not being okay with their body.
In the early years of Larry and I dating he would watch me not only eat but monitor me in the bathroom as well. Nothing like having a guy sitting on a toilet top after you just ate dinner to realize that this type of “good boyfriend” behavior was not okay. No boyfriend should be sitting on the toilet top as a protest to his girlfriend that she’s beautiful just the way she is. That throwing up isn’t going to change the root issue of what’s truly behind my eating disorder. After a few months of arguments, yelling, breaking up, reuniting, and breaking up again, it was truly clear that it was either my health or my image.
After getting some from a free counselor I realized that any size that you’re body is it’s fine by me. What’s really important is your overall health, not the size that you are but how health you are. That’s why, after having Zoe I realize very quickly that I couldn’t go back to my old habit of bulimia or self harm could no longer be apart of my routine, especially since giving birth to a health baby girl.
This is why Zoe and I made a “Workout Wednesday”. I’ve mentioned this so many times before that the weather here in Minot, is really vicious when it wasn’t to be. Mother Nature looks harshly upon the flat lands of North Dakota, if not extremely cruel during the winter seasons. In order to keep Zoe active, swell as my health I thought it would be best that Larry assembled the heavy bag in the front room where both Zoe and I can use it. We gather our trampoline, put YouTube on the PS3 and jump for better fitness together for 15 minutes.
As I work out, Zoe is right besides me counting ( usually mixing up the order of numbers to her delight), she’s having the best time of her life just jumping. What she’s really doing is burning off that extra toddler energy she tends to have tightly coiled only to release it in a huge burst right before bedtime.
None the less I am trying my best to be the best mother I can possibly be by doing everything I can to show to my own little changeling daughter that no matter what size you are it’s you’re overall health that matters not the number printed on you’re clothes. I thought despite this blog being about books, you would enjoy all the fun videos that Zoe and I watch on YouTube in the attempt on continuing to be health. Also don’t forget it’s not all about how you work out it’s also about what you eat too!
P.s. It’s been some years since I had bulimia and I’m very grateful that I had someone who loved me enough to pull me from the depths of having a true problem. But if someone you know is suffering from Bulimia or you want to know more information about it please Click Here.